I find beauty where I usually also find magic.

The breeze in a redwood forest.

The breaking of stormy surf on coastal rocks with gray skies and mist over the horizon.

The stars in the sky without light pollution.

Children.

Still and crystal lakes.

Dew drops.

Spider webs.

Ivy covered wrought iron fences and gates.

Campfires.

Waterfalls.

Moments of self realizing truth.

Moments of silence.

A knowing smile.

Witnessing firsts. (my favorite)

-Inutile

 

Over all way? Sacrifice. Unconditionally.
Favorite way? Cooking for them at the oddest times at their whim.
Typical? Listening. Really listen without judging.

It's hard being different. Just as an example, my Grandmother died last night at the age of 104.  I'm very sad at her passing and I'm assisting in her arrangements, but I'm not nearly as emotional about it as others in my family.  My earliest recollection, at the age of 6, was my mother's observation of my response (or perceived lack therein) of my paternal Grandfather's passing.  I'm very pragmatic about life and this gives me a mistaken-for aloofness or coldness. This is simply not the case.  I'm quite affected by death of loved ones but not as others typically expect.  My perspective has always been analytical and I'm not quite sure as to why this is. Along with this way of seeing things comes a sense of humor that others either find extremely dark if not perverse.  I do have a range of emotions which include weeping to seemingly unending maniacal laughter... just not as readily expected as appropriate by others.  I guess the best way to describe the difference is my range of emotions are somewhat reversed and upside down in relation to other's ranges.

Do I wish to be like everyone else?  No.  And I haven't a regret about that.  I live for things that differ, stand-out, grab attention or otherwise make you see things differently.

Odd is as odd does when odd is the norm...?

-Inutile

This is me at work. You could say I have it covered. Great if you have allergies but it leaves much to be desired to identify people by their badges. A slip of the hand could cost the company as much as $1.4 million. I don't suggest people fond of coffee to go right to work after imbibing.

-Inutile

Random thoughts on this...

Life is conflict:

Conflict generates either success or failure. You learn from failure and success is temporary at best.

Avoiding conflict is fruitless. You run across it with every decision, from actions taken in getting up to going to sleep.

Sports are regulated, arranged expositions of conflict, sometimes on many levels. Viewing sporting events usually causes conflict of varying levels

Conflict is part of nature:

Prey vs. predator.

Surface stability vs. erosion.

Nocturnal vs. Diurnal.

Land vs. ocean.

Action vs. reaction.

Consumption vs. deprievation.

Observation:

We are creatures of conflict. It is the stuff of life. You can fight it or you can understand it, either moving with it or against it. Choosing one way over the other is in itself a conflict.

The ability of accepting and learning from life’s conflict within and without shows enlightenment.

Choose to control conflict rather than allow conflict to control you.

-Inutile

Listen.
Don't judge.
Make an effort to put yourself where they are mentally and emotionally.
Be there when you're needed and be understanding in those times when you're not.
Tell of your admiration and worries about them and reciprocate by listening about theirs of you.

-Inutile

As much as I cherish the mind, to my folly, seldom do I follow it. I typically follow my heart (metaphorically) in most actions as my id dictates.

Where is the mind when the belly grumbles or the heart demands?
Why are we tied to the sweetness of the memory and not the moment?
How is it that all want peace when it is distraction that is savored?
Greed is the carrot and desire the mule, never mind the cart that is pulled nor how loaded it becomes.

-Inutile

My integrity.

All else in my life is nurtured and grows from that. Without it, my existence is meaningless and would therefore make me unworthy of other's faith in me.

-Inutile

A seldom feeling. I generally used to feel accomplished after completing minor to major tasks around the house or when helping somebody else. These days I tend only to feel accoplished by making it through a day without the intermittently noted self negativity. There's been a great deal of that in my world as of late. I've been striving to find ways of turning that around. Friends (few) family and work have not provided the positive influence I seek. I could say I'd feel accomplished if I'd creatively thought of something useful or needed. I suppose it's inspiration I feel I lack. Therefore, what accomplishment is there in inactivity? I've accomplished things I can be proud of such as my children and and successfully assisting them to survive (so far) in this world.

I do feel accomplished being able to openly state my states of being. This is perhaps more than others can do. I think everyone at Gaia should feel accomplished for maintaining their interests in their sharing of ideas and feelings. People don't feel so strange when they're able to see some relative sense of "belonging" generated by participating here.

Thank you everyone! The more input provided, the more feelings of accomplishment that can be shared.

-Inutile

Critical Scientific method aside, truth to me is fluid. How I perceive the world shapes my understanding of truth. Truths may change over time like society's truths, whomever's we view, will change as perspectives grow and mature. One truth I hold is that denial created out of fear of the unknown generates untruth. I can pretty much trust myself in truths if I'm open to what I'm regarding and able to represent both sides. Part of that equation is the ability to be open to seeing what is thought to be a truth if it turns out not to be.

"We both have truths, are mine the same as yours?" I'm curious to see if anyone knows the source of this quote...

-Inutile